Day by Day

I try to live my life day by day. Unfortunately, lately, I have been looking in the past and worrying about the future. Along with all of the stress of teaching my students and dealing with the annoyances at my school, I'm still dealing with losing my mom. She was my favorite person. I miss her so much. Her birthday would of been tomorrow, October 1st. This has been an extremely hard weekend. Everything I do or see reminds me of her. I am reminded daily of how great she was, what a love for life she had, and how much I have benefited by just knowing her. Tomorrow is going to be very difficult for me. I know it's just a "day" but I am truly dreading all of the memories that are sure to fill my head and my heart. Life seems so unfair sometimes.

Here's to a stress free, reflective Monday.

(Tell someone you love them today!)

Howl at the Moon

Wow! What a couple of days!

There's a full moon, the weather is changing, and Mercury is in retrograde. Not really sure about Mercury but the other is definitely true! I have noticed how differently the children act when there is a full moon. It's true! Animals and kids go bonkers when the atmosphere is upset at all.

Examples:
As a social studies lesson we were talking about transportation of long ago compared to today. I showed pictures of horses, wagons, etc. for long ago and buses, cars, etc. for today. I had the kids tell me some other modes of transportation. I got great answers, planes, cars, trucks, apples... Yes, I said apples. Apparently now we get around by way of apples. The apple, a magical mode of transportation.

We are doing simple, simple, simple addition. 1+0=1, 2+0=2, 1+2=green. Yup, I said green. According to one of my students, 1+2=green! Jackpot! We have a winner!

I'm tellin' ya, I'm gonna howl at the moon tonight! (And pull my hair out if I have another day like today!)

Saturday's Horoscope

Thanks Anonymous! I decided to look at the horoscope in the morning instead of at the end of the day! :)

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The collapse of much that you had taken for granted is sure to have you reassessing your current position. A new attitude will serve you well.
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And, indeed, in the words of Ms. Patti LaBelle, I've got a new attitude!

Reflections

Wednesday was not a good day. I had a difficult time communicating with my student teacher, I saw an e-mail sent to the entire school that only listed people who did NOT get all exceeds on their evaluation last year that I am on, and I had a meeting with people who don't listen, participate, or care about what I'm saying. One of the teachers complained the whole time, another threw a fit and walked out, the others were just, well, unresponsive.

I felt horrible after Wednesday. I cried. I got angry. I was DONE! Poor me.

Why? These people don't matter to me. I don't care what they think about me. Why would any of this effect me so deeply?

I have an amazing daughter, family, and group of friends.

I heard from a friend that night about what she's been going through the last 2 weeks. Her 16 year old daughter ran away, was doing drugs (a lot), sleeping and living with a 20 year old, and, not planning to come home. My friend is going through hell! Here life is truly turning upside down. They did find her and get her into a lock down treatment facility. Hopefully things will turn around for them.

After hearing this and reflecting on my "problems", I realized that what I learned when my mom passed away had left me. Life is what you make of it and no-one can change that or should change that. I'm not going to let anyone control how I feel or act.

I know... easier said than done. Hopefully I will be able to stay strong to myself and who I am, and who I want to be.

Today's Horoscope

As I have mentioned before, I like to read my horoscope at the end of the day and see how accurate, or not, it is. Here is today's:

Why are you complaining? The fact is that you're in a position that others envy, and many would gladly change places with you given the chance.

All I have to say is...

Take the chance people! Take the chance!

No... I actually enjoy organizing and being in the "know". I'm just having a hard time dealing with all of the inexperience and neediness of this year. Funny horoscope though, all things considered!

Nit-Picky Parents

The hardest part of my job, sometimes, is dealing with overly demanding or unreasonable parents.

I do have several involved parents this year which I love! Only 2 of them are a bit high maintenance but they are nice about it and only have their kids best interests at heart. As a parent myself, I understand and appreciate their involvement.

Something interesting happened yesterday as I walked the kids to buses and parents waiting at the front of the school.

A fellow teacher is having a difficult time getting her kids where they need to be on time so I am walking my students as well as her parent pick up students and daycare bus students. I walk around to the front of the school with my students and this other teacher's students as an adult comes up to introduce herself to me. She says she is there to pick up one of the other teachers students and will each day so she wanted to meet me. That's great. I should know who is taking these kids each day. She then proceeds to ask me why it took so long. I tell her we are on the other side of the school and have to walk around. She asks again why we have to walk around. At this point, I'm done. I've walked the kids, I'm on my way to daycare drop off, it's Friday, and I have answered her question already. So, I tell her we walk the kids to buses first and then to the front for parent pick up. I'm starting to turn and walk away and she continues! She asks why we can't go through the building. I tell her, AGAIN, we walk to buses and then around to the front. Now I'm REALLY done. She's not though. She asks, AGAIN, why we can't walk through the hallway. I tell her because the other kids in the building are going out and we'd be going "against" the flow. She continues by saying that they are not, they are already outside. Well, I just can't take it anymore! I have given her WAY more than she needed and this is not even my student! So... I throw my arms in the air and tell her, "I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you should go inside and make that suggestion to someone." UGH!!!! I'm usually so calm and collected and rational. She definitely pushed me to the point of frustration. I do NOT like being at that point. It's so hard to control my responses when I'm frustrated!

Hopefully this woman went home and reflected on her actions as I did on mine. I certainly do not want to have any conversations with her.

Funny First Graders

Today, again, was a much better day. The kids are testing us, my student teacher and I, but that's normal at this point in the year. A couple of things they said today cracked me up. I love it when they are funny but don't mean to be.

Story 1:
We took the kids for a walk around the school today for our 30 minutes of P.E. I was at the front and the student behind me, V, talked to me the whole time. She told me a spider bit her on her tongue one time and now she is the queen of all spiders. That's funny by itself but she continued her story. She said her dad doesn't like spiders and they crap her out too. I ask her to repeat. She does saying they crap her out again. I ask if she means creep her out. She says, "Yeah, they creep and crap me out". It was so hard for me not to bust out laughing. She was very serious about it. Gotta love the queen of spiders that crap her out. Ouch! Poor spiders!

Story 2:
We went to the library today for the first time. Our librarian is AMAZING!!!! I absolutely love her. She does a fantastic job! She was asking the kids what some of the rules in the library were and how we treat our books. Most of the kids said things like be quiet, don't yell, treat the books gently, etc. E, however, says, "Don't bite the books." Our librarian keeps a straight face as I am grinning at the back and adds that we don't bite, or bend, or mistreat our books. I don't know how she did it! Like I said, she is awesome.

Well, that's all for now. Hopefully I will have many, many more stories!

First Grade Follies

Well... today was much better as far as the adults go. I have been avoiding social contact with most of them. It seems to be working to maintain a bit of sanity.

As for the kids, they were all asleep and non-responsive most of the day. I felt as if I were teaching to a bunch of empty desks. Repeating everything over and over and forcing their participation. It could possibly be because of the massive amounts of rain or the fact that it's a Monday.

I always forget what babies the first graders are at the beginning of the year. I have to "retrain" their bladders to only go to the restroom when we go as a class. I'm in a portable and it's not really safe to let them go from the classroom by themselves. I take the kids to the restroom four times a day and there are always a few that need to go at other times. Today I took them to the restroom after our specials. I told them to go now or they may have to wait until or next break in an hour. We get back to class and not one minute later a student, G, asks to "go pee" in a very loud voice. I explain to him we don't go "pee", we go to the restroom. I then ask him why he didn't go one minute ago when we were all inside. His response is, "I have to go pee". I'm frustrated because I can't get a response from him other than that so I tell him to just go, but to hurry. He opens the door and goes nowhere. I tell him to go again. He just stands there. I tell him again, in a much more stern voice, to go. He says, "but I'm scared". Scared? Of what? The rain. We go back and forth like this five times. I finally tell him to decide if he wants to go or sit back down. He goes and sits back down. I finally can't stand it anymore. I'm afraid he will "wet" himself so I send a child to take him. Babies! Unbelievable.

Hopefully it won't be raining tomorrow!